Broken Heart

My heart got broken exactly four years ago today when my Papa died. I felt the world stopped and my heart stopped beating when they told me my Papa was gone.

I couldn’t believe that my Papa who was so strong-willed will succumb to death without a fight. I always believed that my Papa would survive and spring back to life. That’s how I viewed Papa, someone so strong and gentle at the same time, kind, understanding and loving. I love him so much.

A big part of me died when my Mama died two years before Papa. Yes, I must admit I have never really gotten over the death of my parents. Don’t try to talk me out of my sadness if you still have both your parents with you. Talk is cheap. You will never feel the pain I have in my heart. You will never fit in my shoes. If you also lost both your parents, please impart some words of wisdom to me if you can, please. So I can move on…Yes, this is a cry for help.

I always asked God why he took my Mama and Papa away from me. I know, you will tell me that they’re happy in heaven now. A lot of people told me that. Yes, I know for a fact that my parents are in heaven now. Why? Because my parents were so kind, loving and understanding. I would never trade anything in the world for them. They’re the best parents one could ever wish for.

I hope things will get better now that I understand that this isn’t the end and I will see my mama and papa again. I am lucky I was able to give him a big hug and a kiss before his heart attack. But still, it is difficult to hold back the tears and to stop my longing for my parents.
It’s difficult to let both of you go but I must…I know I must….Please Pray with me for my Papa’s Death Anniversary today…I am literally crying when I compose this post-(

Loving God,

Listen to our prayer as we remember Constancio Sy on the anniversary of his death.
We thank you for the good things you have done among us by his life and example.
Grant that he may rejoice with you in heaven, as we journey to your kingdom.
Keep us faithful in following the way of Jesus that we may live in your love.
We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord.

14 thoughts on “Broken Heart

  1. On your dad's death anniversary, remember the good memories you had with him. You're pretty lucky you were given a chance to know your father.

  2. I lost my dad too when I was still in high school, half a lifetime ago. I always try to think about it this way that even if he left early he was able to impart as much of who he is to me and maybe because of that his job is done. Anyway, I've just included your dad in my prayers.

  3. Hello Cha.. I too, am parentless. My mother left me and my brother when we were still little. My father, on the other hand, died from a brain aneurysm. He died 17 years ago. I was only 11. I can actually feel your pain. I miss my dad every waking day. He to me, was the best and the most loving parent there ever was. I know the pain will forever stay in our hearts. But it will eventually be replaced with loving memories and of vivid smiles that were once seen from their faces. They will be forever immortalized in our hearts, that's a certainty.

  4. It's hard to lost someone you really love. I lost my grandpa about 2 years ago and the Lolo's boy (grandparent's boy though), I will forever have a broken heart. 🙁

  5. I'm a very emotional person and reading your post made me cry. I sincerely felt your pain as I was reading. I have issues about 'letting go', too. One of the things in this world that I don't understand.

  6. I lost my father almost three years ago. There are times that I regret I had not said or done some things alongside him when he was still with us.

    Nevertheless, I always cherish good memories he left my mother and my siblings.

  7. I know it's hard to lose someone so dear to us. Let us just remember the good memories of our departed loved ones and be happy for they are now with our creator. My prayers for your dad.

  8. Awwwww hugs Cha. I also lost my dad just last year. Like you, I also feel blest I was able to express my love before he passed on. I was actually beside him when he died. Yes, we will see them again, Cha. In the "sweet by and by," as one hymn goes.

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